If You Can Dream It..

“Can’t” will NOT be in Dillon’s vocabulary (“Not allowed”? Yes. But “can’t”? No).

He can do anything.

He could probably build a time machine if he put his mind to it.

Will Smith is the best.

Will Smith is the best.

Can a child with spina bifida do this?

I guess he can.

Of course he can.

And this.

And this.

And he rolled over at four months.

When your child has a disability, you focus a lot more on what they can do, than what they can’t. And what they CAN do, is amazing. Even if it’s something so small, so meaningless to someone else, it will be so significant to you. When you learn that your unborn child has a disability, you focus so much on the negative, you don’t even realize how amazing your child is going to be once they get here. No matter what, there is always going to be something about your child that will amaze you. The mere survival of a child is something amazing, and you will see, if you give them a chance.

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The Overprotective Mother

Dillon has been kind of fussy today and he’s hardly ever fussy, which brings me to.. teething? Maybe. Gas? Based on his grunts, sounds like it. Shunt malfunction? No other symptoms, so I’m betting.. no.

I know I’m OBSESSED with my kid. I’m not being sarcastic, I really am obsessed. I am sure everyone probably already knows this due to status updates and countless pictures on my Facebook. My mind is on this kid 24/7 (even while I’m sleeping). Would it be this way if it weren’t for his medical conditions? Probably not, but I really don’t know, considering he is my first child.

I am really blessed to have Dillon. He is so easy to take care of, he’s hardly ever fussy, he’s a good napper, and at a little over two months old he started consistently sleeping from 8PM to about 7AM.

My whole world in one picture. <3

My whole world in one picture. ❤

I am definitely a momma bear when it comes to Dillon. I am generally a very laid back person, but if anyone has anything to say or does anything with my child that I don’t like, well, let’s just say you will see the dark side of Heather.

Being a mom has really changed me and I’ve only been one for three and a half months! I love babies now.. before I just thought they were kind of lazy and whiny. I’ve discovered a new love.. yes, mommy love is completely different from any other love, it’s much greater. I use baby talk sometimes.. I am a little ashamed when I use it, and I don’t even know why I use it, because Dillon thinks it’s hilarious when I use my regular voice. I have developed a sixth sense.. I can tell you what’s wrong with my kid just by his cry. And, I don’t really care about myself as much anymore.. Dillon is my #1 ( he’s tied with his daddy).

*Initiate Dillon photo montage*

He really can't get enough of his fingers.

He really can’t get enough of his fingers.

He's a flasher. His belly is pretty cute though.

He’s a flasher. His belly is pretty cute though.

He thinks he's a big boy.

He thinks he’s a big boy.

Heaven forbid I try to take his pacifier.

Heaven forbid I try to take his pacifier.

I might be a little overprotective for this, but a part of me doesn’t trust anyone to keep Dillon overnight while I’m not there (aside from Lance). At least not at this age and definitely not while he’s still exclusively getting breast milk (even if he wasn’t, I’d like to wait until he’s a year old). I am with Dillon 24/7, I know everything about him, I know when something isn’t right. I know how he acts when he has gas, or when he’s hungry, or when he’s sleepy, or when he needs his diaper changed. I can also tell when it’s not any of those “normal” baby problems, when it’s something serious. And I know Dillon’s grandparents have raised wonderful children (obviously) and I know all of his aunts are perfectly capable of taking care of a baby, but I just can’t be away from him overnight, not yet, not for a while, and definitely not since he does have a couple of medical issues. I am a very forgiving person, but if anything happened to Dillon while he was in the hands of someone else, I’d never be able to forgive them, ever, literally never. I don’t want to put that kind of pressure on someone while Dillon is still in such a vulnerable state (A.K.A. a baby). So, I am sorry, but keeping him overnight, without me, before he is one? The answer is always going to be no. If that makes me overprotective, then I guess I am overprotective.

Okay, now a quick update on some technical stuff: Dillon will have an appointment on September 26th. As of today he is doing very well. He has some slight issues with head control, he let’s his head fall back occasionally, due to his hydrocephalus, but (as per advice from his physical therapist) we’re working on it and he’s getting better. He does not bear all of his weight on his legs yet (they say this is a 4-month milestone and he’s 3 and a half months). The fact that he bears any weight at all (and he does hold quite a bit) is a miracle!

I’ll end this post on a picture of the cutest baby on earth.

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He may have little hands, but those little hands hold my whole heart. ❤

Dillon will be waking up from his nap in about 15 minutes, so until next time! Thanks for reading. 🙂