Now that you know Dillon’s medical background, let’s get to the stuff that matters.
They always tell you that you don’t know what love is until you have a kid. Well, they’re right. I loved Dillon as soon as I saw him on that ultrasound. And as crazy as this sounds, after he was diagnosed with SB, I felt even more connected to him. I think it was because I felt like he needed extra love to make him feel better. I read a story once about a woman who had a little girl with down syndrome. They did not learn about her extra chromosome until after she was born. When the little girl arrived, her mother could tell by her features that she had down syndrome. She said that the first time she looked at her baby it was as if her little girl was saying, “Love me! I may be different, but just love me, please.” And I realized then that I don’t want Dillon to ever feel that way, I want him to know that he is loved.
I know I’m backtracking here but I just want to say that I had a very positive and upbeat obstetrician, Dr. Wendel, and I wish every OB could be like him when it comes to things like spina bifida. A lot of obstetricians paint a horrible picture when giving a prenatal diagnosis. I remember one of my appointments I had with Dr. Wendel before having Dillon and he just seemed so happy, he acted as if spina bifida was just one of Dillon’s physical features. He never wasted his time by telling me that Dillon wouldn’t have a chance in this world. He never pushed for termination, in fact he didn’t even mention termination (that was the genetics counselor). I remember him saying that Dillon’s ventricles were slightly dilated, but that was normal for children with spina bifida. He informed me about Dillon in a positive way and I really appreciated that. And even though the genetics counselor asked if we had considered termination, she smiled after Lance and I said that we weren’t considering it. I have heard stories about doctors actually questioning their patient’s decision not to terminate. Ridiculous.
I think a lot of terminations should be blamed on how doctors present information to their patient. No offense to doctors, but they only know what that ultrasound tells them. They don’t know what God has in mind. They don’t know that these babies will sparkle and shine, no matter what their diagnosis (even if it’s just for a little while). I’m sorry if this next part is offensive to you, but this is my blog and I’m going to share my opinion. Even if your child is given a death sentence, is it really your choice on whether or not they’re at least given the chance to live? I’ve heard countless stories about women whose children survived even after doctors said they never would. I mean, doctors are HUMANS, they are not psychics. Even with the greatest technology, those machines and tests do not account for miracles. You will never regret giving your child, at the very least, a chance to feel your touch, to feel you holding him/her in your arms, even if it’s only for a second.
And who knows, your child just might find the cure for cancer one day, or do something else amazing that would change this world for the better, but if you abort him/her, then there is no chance.
Anyway, those are my thoughts for the day. I’ll leave you on a happy note.. or should I say happy picture: